Who Am I?

I might not sound like the regular guys out there, but my pysche definitely calls for an interesting read. This so because I don't have a personality of my own, I tend to mirror the character and expectations of those I interact with. For instance, I always get turned on by fingering. Yes, you heard it right. It only takes a finger to turn me on. But my psyche is so psyched, it takes only the same finger to turn me off too. Now that you get the picture of what type I am, read on.

By profession, I am an entertainer. I understood very early that I have been designed in this world to entertain others and keep them hooked to me. I am very good at making one crave to turn me on and use me. So much so that people keep thinking about me even when they carry on with their own life. People want to tell me where they are, what they are doing or even what they are thinking. They call me through various ways and tell me about places they have visited, about their fantasies, about the games they play in life. They want me to remember their important dates and wish them on their birthdays. I wonder what makes people talk so much about themselves. It's probably the narcissist in oneself, or may be they need to assure themselves that they fit in this weird world. Sometimes, they share a secret with me and admonish me from sharing it with anyone else. They show their pictures to me and want me to keep it. They tell me about their favorite friends. Some even want me to patch up broken relationships and I help them as much as I can. Sometimes, I am exploited for publicity and I hate it, but it's all a part of life.

The moment I am awake, I have to read the latest news and update myself, else I get stuck. Sometimes, I get divine interjections and find out what others think about me, or about someone else I know. Take this instance, I was once walking down the lane and I meet this guy. I have a feeling I know him, and almost say a hi. Just before that, he turns to me and says "hey, can we be friends?". I am awestruck and before I know, we are good friends. The best thing is this opens up a string of friendships through him.

And then there are many who leave their impressions on me. They come into my life, take a peep at what I am doing, and give me a good piece of their mind. It almost feels like I am being scratched all over. Gosh, the things they say! Sometimes it hurts like am bleeding all over. But sometimes, it's also fun when they say good things to me. I wonder what gave me the capacity to work with so many at the same time. By the end of the day, I feel so tickled and colorful. I am also transparent that when one sees the good impressions left in me by others, they openly state that they like it so much. And I always get that divine interjection by which I convey it to the relevant guys next time I see them.

My average life span is not defined, but I could live for a long time or mutate into something else. For instance, there was this guy whose name starts with "O" before me and everyone thought that's the world. Then I came along, and now I rule the world. You wont believe they even made a movie about me. But what really keeps me ticking is the randomness in me. Take my daily list of activities for example. There is no way I can put it in order because it is random, but I will give you a list of what happened yesterday:

I was so turned on I needed about ten minutes to get done with it. So much was the weight on me, I had to finally pour my heart and soul out getting excited about all the new developments. Then I was walking down the lane, when suddenly someone tickled me by poking at me. I turned to see who it was, but someone started scratching my behind by writing on it. Before I know, there were so many talking to me. I had to literally get out of there by scratching some beards, and found myself in a serene green farm because I was invited. I spent some time taking care of my plants and cows, but was drawn back by divine intervention. That's when I found myself at this beautiful beach I visited two months back. All my friends were passing through it, and they were talking about me. The last one said "You look too cool and the beach is fantastic. Let's go down there sometime", and the one before her liked it instantaneously. In fact, she liked it twice. I was happy about it. I decided to visit home, and found that there was nothing new there. Instead, there was some unrelated garbage thrown at my place by some miscreants. How many times do I clean them out? Then I heard the calling bell, went to the door and found myself transported to my friend's guest house where he was showing me off to the world. He had put a dog-tag around me, displaying my name. Stranger was that he had put a dog-tag around himself. But then, there were lots of people there I didn't want to pull him down. I Oh I see'd a few and Rolled On The Floor Laughing now and then. Everyone was Laughing Out Loud. In My Humble Opinion, I thought how weird all this was. The guy who came in after me had pulled down his pants and was "Laughing My Ass Out"-ing big time. He sometimes rolled when he did this. There was even one guy who kept asking everyone about their Age Sex and Location. I boldly asked him With Respect To this and What The Fucked him. My friend later came to me and asked me if I enjoyed the party. I told him What You See Is What You Get, Talk To You Later'd him and decided to call it a day. That's when the finger turned me off.

I have always tried to put a coherence and consistency in my activities but it's beyond my capacity. But I am good, I am interesting, I am addictive and I am popular. I am your facebook profile!