The Romeo In Me

Preface:
1. No portion of this blog is written with sex in mind. If it has that shade, it is only to validate a viewpoint.
2. This blog is not ranting r cribbing (polambal). I wrote this when I was excited and not a bit sad (forced to add this coz ppl thot i was doin so. There are no references to my past, whatsoever)
3. Facts have always proved so far that Sravan and love is a dangerous combination.

I feel romantic, to be extremely specific. The romeo in me (don' laugh ok? everyone is) is in a hyper terrific state to fall out and take over the dutiful dedicated-to-work me. I can literally feel the high levels of pheromones - all this in a sudden surge. Love is being pumped out of my heart at the rate of 500 roses per second, but there is none to give them to. But why? I had succeeded in pushing the romeo to one corner of my heart, and ordered him not to come back for a long long time in the future till I release his locks, till when I feel I am ready for another relationship. He has been obedient so far and promised to stay inside the dark cell. Though he needs a little walk and light now and then (which I make sure is allowed, but far below the normal needs) in the form of ogling and let-the-looks-be-there, I have definitely curbed his activities to a large extent. And it is paving results. But why this sudden shift in the metabolism now?

Hormonal Shifts! They are a part and parcel of everyone's life at all stages. We grow up without realizing these, that they become an inherent part of the metabolic system. Most of these shifts add to your vitality but others serve good enough to bog you down. Some are even dangerous if allowed to interact. The normal mortal is simply unaware of these silent fundamentals of a living being most of the times. I watch couples in the road moving along with grace and smiles, but all I see through them is the pheromone in action. I see my friends stressed in life and understand how much cortisol their adrenal cortex must be producing. Depression is a daily affair for most people and is a part of the common man's life. Mood shift is a very common phenomenon during the pre/post menstruation stage in most women. (btw, before i forget, there is this PMS community in orkut. I feel neutral about its existence, but I guess women in orkut would be better off without it). Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Sexuality, Cordiality, Loathe - All these are effects of these silent secretions in the infinite body. And these control our life - Or should I say, these are life?

I have managed to stay lonely most of these days and started enjoying and accepting it as the most important reason for my living. I see myself when I am lonely. I see a purpose in the world around me. Loneliness has taught me to be one with my soul and to watch every step and realize the consequences. It has taught me to trust the mind than the heart. It has reinforced my belief in logic and has made me proud of my actions. Loneliness has also taught me to understand the basics of life. But this is a lovely evening in the late feb, ideal for a hand-in-hand walk along the beach, a slow shallow swim in the pool, a candle-light dinner followed by an exhausting night. I can find the pink shades resurfacing in the dark corner - the need for light, the crave for love, the principality of group living, the fundamentality for someone to care for you.

But after all this loneliness and jailing of the bugger, why does he want to resurface now? Companionship! I guess that's the basic necessity of most living things around. This is the sole reason I believe in marriage from the Indian society viewpoint. But still dude, this is not the time for you to emerge from your exile. I prefer to be this lonely duty-conscious, overworking, focussed individual right now - without a damsel to fallback for support. I am yet to learn the remaining of those that are to be learnt without a woman beside and that includes getting used to the ups and downs in one's own heart and the feelings that it generates towards oneself. You destroy my loneliness. You make me want the woman I most want. You make my heart beat faster and pump the roses. You make me feel blooming and happy. You give me goosebumps. You make me attractive and I hate you most for that right now.

Listen, I hate myself and that's the best thing I love about myself - very few people have the audacity to hate themselves and accept the fact. Contradicting personalities make me what I am. There is so much of diversity within myself that I will remain incomprehensible throughout my life. So, Mr. Romeo, your time is still far ahead in the future, wait in patience! I would let you know when you have to come back and take over me, but till then, hibernate! And Ms. Juliet, wherever and whoever you are, do wait too, it's worth it.