weekend blues - part 1

Somewhere near Vellore
6.03 PM
09/02/07

Travelling in a train seems to be a pleasant experience after all, atlast. With a plug for my mobile charger, a Tamilnadu SIM in the mobile, the laptop on my lap and music in my ears, I seem to be wired and well connected to the world around me. Sitting in the reverse direction seems to add dramatics to the already wandering mind. As I look at this text in wordpad, the scenes outside run out fast against the corner of my cornea, filling me with a sensation like am leaving time behind and leaping into the future. Ofcourse, like life itself, this is a mental illusion, but sometimes the matrix world rocks. Quite involuntarily, I play Newyork Nagaram in winamp and live through the song. That just seems to be the best thing to do and befits the situation. Ofcourse, I enqueue Desert Rose for next.

The sky is an orange tinge with the setting sun spreading its last rays across - almost synonymous with a dying lover trying his level best to hold on to the life of his soulmate. What a pessimistic portrait of an amazing scenery! But that's how the mind plays tricks with us, negative thoughts springing up in the most wonderful circumstances. The train snails into katpadi to unload another bunch of tired human bodies and to take onboard people returning home after the day's work.

Why I started to write this, I dont know. The past week has been quite hectic making a bigtime UI change (look and feel). I had to recode the layout of almost around 15 screens and it was not an easy job as i thought, but was thoroughly enjoyable. Playing around with java is one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me. I seem to thrive in it. One other place where I feel so much excitement as coding in java is when I get into any form of running water. These two are stuffs that I can relate to almost instantaeneously. I tried skimming through a few docs and even tried reading 'Thinking in java' by Bruce Eckel again. But that's when the sun started setting in the west and spread out its orange light on me, reminding there are greater things in life. I just know there are better things but am not able to identify what they are. One day, I will. Travel is definitely one such, have to do it more.

I am feeling lonely, but that is not something new these days. Am lonely most of the time, musing over what is happening with my life in a yet-to-be-explored-part of my heart. I am becoming numb and indifferent to most of the things that happen around. Probably, I am hardening. Or learning? Whatever!

I am going to pondicherry tomorrow to help my friends in event management of a music show that is going to be held in Alliance Francais. It has been almost 8 years since I went to pondy, so kinda looking forward though I wont get much time to look around.

Oh god! Reality strikes. I have to deal with the latest tryst in my project development, but that has to wait for atleast another 2 days. Chennai is still about 2 hours away. Nothing in store there either. Life is mundane and routine, the type I dont like. I am ready to adapt and advent into new stuffs, but when will life call?

Enough of mokkai, I just thought I will let my fingers wander over the QWERTY keyboard and it has produced this almost immediate memory dump of my brain. Will continue from Pondy.

keep smilin,
sravan